An empty can is worth 1000 words.
Heckling is bad taste’s revenge on good taste.
A bitch in time saves nine.
The open mic without the mic.
The voice of one crying in the wilderness, two seats over from yourself.
Modes of heckle:
Traditional, with rotten fruit and vegetables.
Rock’n’roll, with beer cans.
Hipster, with fermented fruit and vegetables.
Yuppie, with craft beer cans.
Exaggerated, with wine bottles.
Natural, with nothing but a voice.
Clothes maketh the heckler: dress not to be noticed, until you want to be.
Your voice should be louder than your shirt.
Wear nondescript pants: either too much, or too little, would draw attention away from your heckle.
Tact: knowing not to heckle in church.
Liberation: heckling in church anyway.
The art: knowing how to be politely impolite.
Delicacy: being able to get everyone’s attention, but not too much of it.
A poet is just a heckler facing backwards.
Poets, the Jekyll to your heckle.
Who needs a mic?
I wish he would explain his explanation – Byron of Coleridge.
I take it as a general rule
That every poet is a fool
But you yourself will serve to show it
That every fool is not a poet. – Pope, on some random.
Here lies our sovereign Lord the King
Whose word no man relies on;
Who never said a foolish thing,
Nor ever did a wise one. – Rochester, on Charles II.
And that’s the reason, some folks think,
He left behind so great a stink. – Swift, on the death of a great general.
May all my enemies go to hell –
Noel, Noel, Noel, Noel. – Belloc on – well, you know.
The first Whig was the devil. – Johnson.
The Fool’s heckle: when a witty retort turns into an awkward trail off.
Any heckle as long as a haiku is too long.
A good heckle is over before you know it. A great heckle is over before the heckler knows it.
Too long, gone wrong.
Heckling is a spontaneous poem. To prepare one would be cheating.
Poem: a two way conversation with only one person speaking. Heckle: a one way conversation with two speakers.
Photo by Michael Reynolds